I Want!

October 31, 2011 at 11:07 pm 4 comments

You know what I want, please donate to a childrens charity and write to me! More details on the About Lesley page….

I had an exchange on Twitter last week about my long-held longing for an Audi. I haven’t got one but one day perhaps. It got me thinking about our ‘I want’ culture. We all want, fact. Be it stuff, feelings, opportunities, change, we all want that ‘one’ thing or many things, if we get those things then perhaps life will be perfect? We assuage any guilt by telling ourselves we need to ‘want’ to be able to strive. That is true to some extent but I ask you, when do we reach ‘enough’?

When children are small they do not recognise anything beyond their own wants and feelings. When they cry they are lifted, fed, cuddled, changed and their crying stops. As they become toddlers they want to explore, touch, possess and see no barriers to having what they want. I do love this stage in children, they have total freedom and happiness in believing that everything is theirs. Of course we must teach them otherwise. We teach our children the word ‘No’, we teach them to share, a lesson hard-learned but a lesson that must be learned. It is all necessary to allow a child to develop but I do remember the sheer disappointment on my own children’s faces as this became painfully clear.

We are in a consumer culture and are continually bombarded with the next best thing. Adverts, product placement, even the news broadcasting the top twenty toys for children. Is it any wonder that our kids feel deprived if they don’t have those trainers, that game, this burger? When we combine this with the immediacy of a credit-driven economy it is too easy to say yes when we should be saying no. I have tried to raise my children to save before spending but it is tough. I know I am not immune to the charms of the advertisers either. If I am out ‘browsing’ I inevitably find myself drawn to admire handbags, a weakness I am very aware of. I contain and control it; I can admire and walk away but every now and then I succumb. My friends are very aware of this character flaw and steer me gently away from the pretty, pretty bags:)

However, there is more than one definition for want, I thought this summed it up for me –

1: to be needy or destitute
2: to have or feel need
3: to be necessary or needed
4: to desire to come, go, or be
The first definition is to me the most important. It is that which makes me keep my love of handbags and Audis in check. You know I hate to sound ‘goody-goody’, that is not my way but do I really need more when so many don’t have enough? I will continue to ask myself this when the handbag pangs get too strong. However, I won’t stop saying ‘Hello Baby’ to every beautiful Audi I see……
In the meantime, I can always look, can’t I?

Oh my, isn't it pretty!

I close, as always, with this:-

  • Donate to a valid children’s charity of your choice.
  • Visit this blog and comment about your donation. Please also tell me what you wanted to be when you were 8. I still want to collect those tales and hope that some child will read about your words and deeds and want to do the same when they are old enough.

I will:-

  • Add your donation to the Totals page on this blog, totals are updated weekly.
  • I will also write some words about the current donations and the charity
  • Store all comments so that everyone can read them.

Thank you for reading.

Lesley

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Entry filed under: Childhood, Children, Donating, Giving, Life, News, Poverty, Twitter, wheniwas8. Tags: , , , , , , , .

Support Needed…. I know, I know, Seven Weeks and Counting?

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ladymaryan  |  November 1, 2011 at 9:08 am

    Lesley, the late French children’s psychiatrist Francoise Dolto gives me a lot to think about want. She splits the expression “want” into desire/wish and need. She says there are needs like eating and drinking and there is desire like for this lovely new bag or the Audi. Or maybe an iphone? Anyway, whatever it is, as soon as we give in to the desire, this sentiment is changing into a need because if the iphone (or the Audi) breaks or only, if the new version of the iphone comes out, we “need” to get that one – and we will.

    So, we must consider very well, whether we indulge in our own or our children’s desires. The wish for the new toy will not put an end to the momentary desire, but will inevitably elicit the next one…and so on…

    However, as I see it, there is another perspective of desire. I would like to change the word “wish/desire” to “dream” – and where are we going to end, when all our wishes are fulfilled, in other words, if we don’t have any more dreams?

    I wish you a lovely day.

    Claudia xx

    Reply
    • 2. when i was 8 i wanted to be....  |  November 11, 2011 at 12:54 am

      Hi Claudia,

      I wanted to ponder your comment for a while this time. I agree with you…. mostly:)

      The analysis by Madame Dolto is apt and accurate and I think you and she have hit that nail on the head. Where we differ? Wanting and dreaming. I use the word want for things like handbags and Audis, I use the word dream for aspirations and life. I don’t know what that distinction says about me but it has always been the same.

      I wish you lovely things as always..

      Lesley xx

      Reply
  • 3. cwtchme  |  October 31, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    It’s so hard not to be part of that culture but I understand. Not so long ago I had my share of Radley bags and a deep, deep longing for an Audi TT …. But things changed so dramatically that it wasn’t even a longing anymore. But even though those things are further away than ever, I’m happier. Life has a funny way of turning things around, I did get a new bag this year, first one in 3 years, and I have a wicked little car, not an Audi but it’s loved and cherished. When you have to sometimes give up your dreams something else unexpectedly arrives on your doorstep 🙂

    Reply
    • 4. when i was 8 i wanted to be....  |  October 31, 2011 at 11:31 pm

      What a lovely comment my lovely and I get the deep longing for the TT, they are my ‘hello baby’ cars:)

      I know a little bit about the changes you have made and I know you are now much happier than before. Your changes have made you happy and I am glad you are smiling now…

      Lesley xx

      Reply

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