Causes? No, Effects.

May 11, 2012 at 12:36 pm Leave a comment

I do this for a reason. I want you to donate to a children’s charity and write to me. Please see the About Lesley page or read the instructions at the end of this post…..

Twitter was all of a frenzy last night. The #BBCQT hashtag was flying through my timeline with indignation/support/seething rage. The topic was the Rochdale child sex trial and whether race was a motivating factor. There was a lot of dancing around the subject and there was, astonishingly, a discussion (I paraphrase) whether the background/behaviour of the girls and their families was a factor. This made my jaw drop.

Sexual abuse is about control, taking power over another individual and using this power for your own lustful purposes. Domination is a scary term but for some it is the ultimate dream. The very thought of it makes me feel nauseous.

Abusers of the young can be very patient. They are happy to work slowly and gain trust. I was a teenage girl once and I still remember how I felt. It does not matter how confident and outgoing a young girl is, they are rife with insecurities. Am I pretty? Am I too fat? Am I just an abnoxious person? Will anyone ever love me? Young girls can have lots of love and support, be told they are beautiful by those who love them. Their head will translate this to ‘You have to say that, you are my mother/father’.

Any girl who receives flattery and attention will initially be suspicious, will bridle at the thought. However, if it continues with no request for payback then it can slowly build trust. Not in all cases, I don’t want to give the impression that this can happen to all young people. However, those who have that vunerability can be at risk and can come to believe that they are thought of as special for their own sake by those who groom them slowly. When they are hooked, young people become dependant. Their self-worth becomes dictated by the abuser. A little praise will lift them, a little punishment will leave them looking for ways to please. And so the vicious circle continues unless someone breaks it. In this case it took a long time for the circle to break. It was initially thought that one of the victims who approached police would not be a crdible witness; it took another two years before a decision was made to prosecute, yet another horrifying part of this whole case.

I am glad this initial trial is over for the sake of these young girls. I hope, as the police say, that further cases are brought to bring any other abusers to task. This is not a matter of race, this is a matter of abuse. Abusers have long colluded and come together to hurt and use children and young people. Abuse is not a matter of gender, colour, creed or belief. It is a malicious use of power gained slowly. Evil acts have no one source, they come from all areas of life but those who abuse often recognise it in others and come together to cause great harm.

These were children that were hurt. They did not ask for this, they have no blame. They were drawn in and used. I hope they recover from this as best they can. I hope they grow strong and take control for themselves, live life and get pleasure from that life. Abuse damages for a long time, I hope they get the support they need to move forward. One step at a time……

I close, as always, with this:-

  • Please donate to a valid children’s charity of your choice.
  • Visit this blog and comment about your donation. Please also tell me what you wanted to be when you were 8. I still want to collect those tales and hope that some child will read about your words and deeds and want to do the same when they are older.

I will:-

  • Add your donation to the Totals page on this blog, totals are updated weekly.
  • I will also write some words about the current donations and the charity
  • Store all comments so that everyone can read them.

Thank you for reading.


Entry filed under: Child Abuse, Children, Donating, Giving, Life, Rape, Twitter, wheniwas8. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

All Change? Not quite…. I’m not picking on M&Ms, I still love them but……

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May 2012

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