Posts filed under ‘Loneliness’

Living in a Vacuum?

I blog to get people to donate to kid’s charities. I don’t want money, I want you to donate direct to a children’s charity then write to me by commenting on the blog. Please read the ‘About Lesley’ section of the blog to find out why I do this; the Comments and Running Totals pages to see how far we have come….

This is not one of my cheeriest posts but I hope you think it is one that is worth a read. With the recent bad weather generating many news stories about people being cut off I started to think about those who live like this all year round. There are many people out there who suffer from loneliness. I looked at a few definitions of the word loneliness and the ones listed below are those I think cover it well:-

  • The state of being unfrequented by human beings; the ‘lonely’ road
  • A feeling of depression resulting from being alone.
  • The condition of being lonely; solitude; seclusion.
  • Love of retirement; disposition to solitude

As you can see, the definitions above show that it can be a choice for some people. There are those who select a solitary life; it is their preference and they derive great satisfaction from their choice. However, most human beings do not chose a lonely road. Humans are social beings, exclusion from society is damaging to us. We need interaction, affection, touch, warmth and love to flourish. It doesn’t matter what age you are; without a sense of belonging you will suffer. Loneliness is also subjective, the level of loneliness will be defined by the individual.

In the long-term loneliness can erode health. The stress of unwanted loneliess may cause your blood pressure to rise. Along with other physical stresses this can cause long-term health issues. Loneliness can cause bad lifestyle habits; abuse of prescription and non-prescription drugs and increased alcohol consumption being the two main vehicles. It is sad that people feel the need to anaesthetise themselves against the reality of their lives.

Another impact of loneliness in an increase in fear levels. These can be general and specific but are heightened by the lack of someone to reassure and reason over fear. When you have support fears can be soothed and rationalised by conversation; if the only conversation you have is the one in your head then it is much harder to escape from fear. Most of us have support networks from family and friends. We can get through the toughest situations as we have people who will be there to listen when we need it as well as talk through problems. I know that I can get stuck with one perception and am glad that I have my friends to help me see other angles to an issue; it does make the difference. Friends also stop you being too obsessed with yourself and that is a good thing, we all need to be challenged when we only think of ourselves:)

Child development is also hugely dependant on love and comfort. Social and physical exclusion has a dramatic impact on all areas of a child’s development; movement, speech and social skills. Babies and young children need love and contact to develop. As they grow they need encouragement and support to deal with the big, bad world. If children don’t feel love they will develop huge issues very quickly. If a child grows without support they have to find their own way to deal with the world. Social detachment means that they can only focus on survival and will struggle to love and empathise with others as they grow. If you are not given a sense of worth as a young child it will impact the adult you become. Imagine growing up without love. How can you learn to love and be loved in return when it is absent in your younger years?

Many of the charities that have been mentioned on the blogroll focus on supporting children in loveless and neglectful circumstances. Often these charities are the only caring contact that these children have; the only feeling of support they get are from people outside their family. This makes me feel sad and hopeful. Sad that this happens in the first place, hopeful in that there is some hope whilst there are those organisations are in place.

I am not an academic in this field, that much is fairly obvious. I merely skim the topics that I wish to blog on with the hope it will make you think a-while. I am also, like most of you reading this post, very fortunate in that I have support. I try to appreciate that fact every day, I hope you do too. I hope I am a good friend and know how to reach out, writing this makes me resolve to work harder. I will be cheeky and ask you to do this too……

I close with my normal request to you:-

  • Donate to a valid children’s charity of your choice. It is easy to do – online, collection boxes, Give as You Earn. Any amount is important and I am delighted for one pound, dollar, euro, yen to reach a charity. Donate a present to a family or child that will not have the holiday season that you might expect and plan for.
  • Visit this blog and comment anywhere with the charity, amount including currency and please also tell me what you wanted to be when you were 8. I love the stories of childish ambitions.

I will then:-

  • Add your donation to the Totals page on this blog, totals are updated weekly.
  • I will also write some words about the current donations and the charity
  • All comments will be stored on the comments page so that you can see what charities people are interested in and also what a variety of 8-year-old ambitions we have already. I am looking forward to way more surprises from you all.

The steps are simple. Again, if you like the idea please tell others so that they will come and tell me their stories.

Take care of you and yours.


January 14, 2011 at 9:57 am 3 comments


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