TwitterThriller!

A new page of mere nonsense! This is a thriller generated entirely by Twitter peeps. However, now that you are here, please check out the other pages here as this is a blog to get you to donate to children’s charities; I am not all about the nonsense you know!  :))…………………………..

A shot rang out. ‘No’, screamed the young man in the barn. And with that the dog, who up until now had been sleeping soundly, slowly stirred, gently farted and left the room. But he was no ordinary dog. he was a combat-trained stealth dog, part of the new 2-para regiment. Like all good dogs, he took his gun with him. Though he needed no weapons for his paws and teeth were lethal weapons in their own right!

Sergeant Button, ex-Special Branch, would have been at least a superintendent, had it not been for his penchant for fine wine and gambling. Never one to be outdone, Button called Rover (for that was his name) over the tannoy, Rover obediently sat on the carpet. Button crept upstairs & turned on the light, much to his horror his gun was actually a banana as his enemy smiled back at him wearing his mothers pearls & little else.

Farmer Brown was waiting in the kitchen of the old, creaky farmhouse. His wife had been gone longer than usual, he thought. Tex, the farmhand, whispered to the moon ‘damn gooks they’re everywhere man’ then he eat a peperami (it was a bit of an animal).

Farmer Brown heard a noise. Still carrying the chicken under his arm, he peered through the bedroom door to find Mary and Rev. James together. “Call that a cock?” asked Rev. james, cheerily. “No, it’s a capon.” retorted Farmer Brown. “What are you doing?”. Just then, the door burst open to reveal a little bearded man, wearing a black cape, black boots. “Anyone seen my V mask?”

In the meantime, the young man who screamed read through Ellie’s (the mystery woman!) twitter feed. He recoiled in horror: he realized she was being serious. it was then that Bob the barn-spider realised his web had caught Tom Cruise!

Meanwhile, it was close to midnight and something evil was lurking in the dark. But, back in the kitchen, Farmer Brown lovingly parted the legs and pushed a delicious handful of stuffing into the capon. Farmer Brown was renowned for his prowess not only in the kitchen, but in the barn too. A legend when it came to capons. Like his father before him, Brown was well-trained. his father had left him the farm and the birds; taught him the skills. Sadly Brown couldn’t count because he was dyslexic so he could never count his chickens, hatched or not!